It's been 3 weeks since Marin finally arrived... and it's about time I got to updating the blog.
I left off when our first scheduled induction was postponed once we were in the hospital. We were rescheduled to go in on Tuesday, July 19 at 4:30 pm for Induction, part 2 when I was exactly 39 weeks pregnant. It was a very different feeling than the first time we went in- mostly because I was kind of setting myself up for "this could go awry again." Mom & Dad spent the weekend before with Aunt Sharon & Uncle John in New Hampshire, and headed back into Boston on Tuesday. Niki came over, too and we all walked down to Fiorello's in Oak Square to have lunch and then we headed to the hospital. The previous Thursday, we got to the hospital super early for our 4:30 appointment... this time, we were running late so Shaun dropped me off and I got up there at 4:29 ish and Shaun met me there. A very different vibe. They were expecting me, and several residents even said "Oh, you're Dr. Harrison's patient" so they obviously knew the story that I had been there before. We got settled in room 4, and had a very nice nurse. Mom & Dad came to visit a few hours later, and at 7 pm I was officially induced (as in, "I am definitely not going home sans baby this time"). They put a pill in my cervix and I had to lay flat for 2 hours. We watched TV and just chatted - it was fairly anti climatic. At the 6 hour point, they would determine whether I needed another pill or a Foley catheter, or whether labor had started on its own. I had been having contractions frequently prior to going in to the hospital, and once the induction happened the contractions were still coming. Not regularly enough to actually dialate my cervix, but too regularly to warrant a second pill. They tried the Foley catheter to artificially dialate my cervix, but that didn't work (and was PAINFUL). The next step was pitocin - which they gave me at around 4 am.
The pitocin is NO JOKE. About 5 minutes after they administered it, my water broke. A lot. I had a lot of amniotic fluid. It's funny, when I thought about my water breaking during pregnancy, I was always concerned that I wouldn't be able to tell that it broke. Having felt the water break, that was a silly concern. It was unlike any other feeling I've ever had. Once the water broke, the real contractions started. And they were painful. I asked for an epidural (Yay, drugs!) but Dr. Harrison recommended that since I wasn't really dialated yet, I should try Nubane. (I probably spelled that wrong.) I was not a fan of Nubane because a) it made me really loopy and b) I still felt a lot of pain with each contraction.
Finally at around noon I told my fabulous nurse, Bobbie, that I was ready for the epidural. The anesthesiologists came in, administered it (Bobbie took great care of me during that process - all went smoothly) and then I was feeling no pain.
Mom & Dad were in & out all day, Dr. Harrison was in checking on me, but there wasn't really any real progress. The baby did not really like the pitocin - every time they upped the dosage, her heartrate would fluctuate and they'd have to put me on oxygen and lower the dosage. Then they'd try to up it again and the whole cycle would start all over. No one was particularly panicked - some babies just don't like pitocin and this happened to be one of them.
Oh- another random thing. I was given a red popsicle to eat (I love popsicles) midway through the day. I proceeded to vomit up said red popsicle twice. It was a double pop, but twice?
Dr. Harrison came in to check on me at about 9 pm Wednesday night to say that the baby would not be born that day, but would be here Thursday morning sometime. At around 1 am the resident came in to check on me, and determined that I was fully dialated and effaced. "YES!" I said. I was ready for this baby to come. She did tell me that the baby was still at -2 so it wouldn't be worth it to start pushing until she was in a better position. I had Shaun call my parents at their hotel to let them know I'd start pushing soon. I was ready to go!
At this point I had the epidural for a while and was still pretty numb. However, the nurse (Marie) said that I'd be able to feel when I needed to push, because I'd feel like I had to poop. I was already having these feelings... but the doctors weren't in yet for my official "start pushing" feeling.
I was really really really really thirsty. I was told by the attending doctor on duty that I was allowed to have nothing more than "a few" ice chips. Since "a few" is kind of broad... I asked the nurse for ice chips and proceeded to house them like it was lobster dinner. Not a smart move, it turns out. I vomited up the ice chips just like the red popsicle from earlier. I would like to state that I vomited a total of 4 times during my entire pregnancy -- but proceeded to nearly double that total in less than 24 hours at the hospital about to deliver. Not cute at all.
At 3 am my parents arrived (they hadn't fallen asleep at their hotel). They came in to wish us luck and then headed out to the waiting room.
Shortly after Mom & Dad came in, Dr. Harrison arrived. Here is why I love Dr. Harrison. He worked a full duty day shift in the hospital on Wednesday. He also had an evening clinic shift until 9 pm and came in to see me after that. And then he came BACK at 3 am to deliver my baby. Now THAT's a dedicated doctor. Love him.
At 4:15 I was officially given the go ahead to start pushing. I went in like a champ. I hadn't upped my epidural dose at all so I'd be able to feel when I needed to push... and those first few pushes were rock-star caliber. My friend Kate had given great advice as to what pushing should feel like, so I went with that. I figured it would be a few pushes and the baby would arrive. I figured wrong.
After those first 4 pushes (coached by Shaun, Dr. Harrison, Nurse Marie, the resident and 2 medical students that I okayed to be in the room) my body basically gave out. It HURT. A lot. I didn't have the energy to sustain the pushing. I was thirsty. I went in like a champ... but then I spent the next hour and a half trying to come up with alternatives to pushing the baby out.
Shaun was amazing. He was super supportive (as was everyone else). They were really concerned about my heart rate (which was skyrocketing) and the baby's heart rate (which was also skyrocketing). They put a cathode on her head, which helped Shaun gauge the progress we were making. At one point he told me that he could see curly dark hair. Really? She had no hair in any ultrasound picture so that was a surprise. Dr. Harrison and others were whispering in the corner - there was concern that I was dehydrated (I was! They wouldn't let me have anything to drink, and when I did OD on ice chips, it was all vomited up as you may recall). They kept trying to get me to wear the oxygen mask, which was sticky and uncomfortable and kind of made me claustrophobic (which interestingly enough, does not inspire one to breathe, kind of working against the purpose of said oxygen mask).
I would love to say that it was a beautiful experience... a "glorious pain"... that I found inner strength and sustained each push longer than expected because I couldn't wait to meet my baby. None of this would be the case. I was a total wuss about it and complained about how awful it was the whole time.
Finally, after one push I felt her head coming out. Dr. Harrison was holding my left leg at the time (Shaun was holding the right) and he wanted to get the resident to help deliver. When he let go of my leg, the baby's head went back in! That didn't feel great. It was only 2 more pushes after that that she finally arrived. Shaun coached me that each push was for someone: He said "push this one for Judith" and her head emerged fully. He said "Push this one for Lori" and that was the final push.
She was here!
I am fairly certain that the very first thing I said to my newborn daughter was, "You're going to be an only child because I am never doing that again."
I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe she was actually here. Neither of us could. Shaun turned to me and said "We have a baby."
Remember how in every ultrasound picture she had a hand up by her head? Well that's why she was having trouble positioning herself in the birth canal. She was born with her hand up against her head... which equals a 3rd degree laceration for me and a lot of stitches.
I asked for water pretty much immediately. I am thirsty now just thinking about it 3 weeks later.
Right away the nurses said "She looks like daddy" - her heartrate was above 200 so the doctors and nurses were all over her before I got to really see her closely. I kept asking how big she was, but they were working on her so couldn't give me the weight. That part was so surreal. I was asking what was wrong, they seemed concerned but not panicking and in the meantime Dr. Harrison started stitching me up. I heard talk of the NICU but her numbers were getting better and better. I sent Shaun to go tell my parents she had arrived, and that we decided to name her Marin Cecilia. He came back in and said that he got kind of choked up talking to my parents. The pediatrician told him as he was walking out to the waiting area that the baby was doing well and she wouldn't have to go to the NICU after all.
Finally they gave her to me. We had some "Skin to skin" contact, and Shaun did the same. One of the nurses mentioned that my parents had been waiting very patiently outside, and could she bring Marin out to meet them? I thought that was pretty sweet (and I was getting stitched up anyway), so my Mom & Dad got to meet her just about an hour after she was born, and took her first official pictures.
After that, it was a whirlwind of trying to tell people, taking pictures, and people continuing to check in on us. The baby went right to the nursery and I got some recovery time. Shaun was out cold on his fold out sleeping chair, and then they moved us up to the Post-Partum floor and brought Marin in to be with us. We were now officially a family, and I realized what it's like to love someone that you barely know.
So yeah, I didn't have a great childbirth experience... but I didn't need a c-section, the baby was healthy (and adorable, I must say)... and every day since has been unlike any other I've experienced.
Welcome to the world, Baby Marin.
