Anticipation

I have always said that my favorite emotion is anticipation. I love the day BEFORE something exciting is going to happen, being next in line for a ride, the moment just before the curtain goes up- to have something be so close but still far enough away to fantasize about what it'll be like. That being said... 3 days after we went to the hospital to have our baby, we are still anticipating her arrival.

My parents got up here Wednesday evening, we went to dinner, they settled in to their hotel. I barely slept Wednesday night as Shaun and I talked about what would happen the next day - a little shell-shocked but definitely excited. On Thursday, Niki and Addison came over to hang out/distract me, my parents came over for a while, then Shaun and I were alone for what we thought would be the last time in our apartment sans baby. We headed out to Flour Bakery for lunch, then headed to the hospital. We got there at 4:00 for our 4:30 appointment, spent some time in the waiting room with some cute but poorly behaved children, who served to remind us that we will be better parents than the ones these kids were saddled with. We finally got called in to get started and settled into delivery room 1.

Our nurse was very nice, took good care of me as she put all of the monitors on. I let them know that I was interested in pain management (LOTS of pain management) so the anesthesiologist came in to talk to us. By 6:30 my parents arrived, my IV was in and we were just chilling in the room. Dr. Harrison came in with a student, and they did an exam plus took a look at the baby on ultrasound. My blood pressure was in the 130 range every time they took it. After looking at the baby's position, my lack of dialation and my now median-range blood pressure, Dr. Harrison said that we needed to talk. He could no longer recommend inducing me, because I was not yet at 39 weeks (38 weeks, 2 days for the record) and with my blood pressure back to "normal" there was no justifiable reason to do it. He said that based on the baby's position, she was not ready to come out yet and induction would likely result in a C-section and some additional neonatal care for the baby. He said that it was ultimately my decision... but it really wasn't. He said that if I was at 39 weeks, we'd be good to go, but I wasn't there yet. Dr. Harrison made us an appointment to do the whole thing all over again on Tuesday, when I'm actually at 39 weeks. So as disappointing as it was to get there, thinking we'd come home with a baby... we ended up leaving with our bags still packed, baby still in belly, around 9:30 that night.

I was disappointed because we were THERE. It's one thing to be turned away at the door, it's another to be kicked out after settling in. I was also bummed because I had shared with so many people that the baby would be here soon, and people were so excited for us that I felt like I was letting everyone down.

I also feel guilty for being disappointed, because I know people who didn't get to have their baby at all. I should feel lucky that I'm "not high risk enough."

I did not sleep well on Thursday night, needless to say. On Friday morning we went to our scheduled appointment at antenatal testing for another nonstress test. My BP was still good, and they also did another ultrasound to check the baby's size and estimated that she is 7 lbs 13 oz - MUCH more reasonable than the 9 lbs I was expecting. She continues to kick away, and I have still been having contractions. I was told to "focus on labor" so we walked around the Museum of Fine Arts yesterday. I ate spicy food. We have been sleeping in but I'm trying to remain active during the day to remind this baby that she's ready to make an appearance very soon.

I also cannot stress enough how wonderful Shaun has been through all of this. We got some unexpected time together this weekend and it's been great. So maybe the baby decided to give us this weekend as an extra gift before she started taking over our lives. I know she'll still be here soon, and now we know exactly what the first 5 hours of hospital time on Tuesday will be like. I do hate surprises... and I'm getting a little more anticipation than I bargained for. But as I said before, I love anticipation.

A Big Update

So... the baby is coming sooner rather than later. I visited the antenatal testing unit this past Friday for another nonstress test. The baby did great (as usual)... but my blood pressure was a little high when they took it. It was "on the high side of the median range" so they took it again. In a shocking turn of events, it was even higher the second time (stressed out about high blood pressure, maybe?), which put me in the low end of the high range... and meant that I needed to go to the main office to get my blood pressure checked again.

In a shocking turn of events, after waiting nearly an hour to see a nurse (and being worried about my high blood pressure), the next 2 tests resulted in even higher numbers. Fortunately, the protein test came back fine and I wasn't exhibiting any other symptoms of pre-eclampsia (other than the high blood pressure and the previously mentioned giant swollen ankles). Dr. Harrison let me go home on Friday (after 3 total hours there!), told me to watch for other symptoms, and said that I should come back in on Tuesday, instead of waiting another week.

He called me Sunday morning to check in on me, which I thought was nice (aside from the fact that I was still sleeping at 8:30 am when he called).

So yesterday I go in to see Dr. Harrison. It was a crazy day in the office and I had yet another long wait. (I also had someone totally jump in front of me in line for the bathroom with no acknowledgement that I was even there waiting. But I said nothing and chose not to get fired up. I was there for a blood pressure check, after all.) They took my blood pressure and the first one was high, again (150 over 92).... then on my left arm, it was lower (138 over 91).... but when Dr. Harrison came in he said that based on the fact that my BP has been consistently high, my ankles have been swollen on a regular basis for months, and this baby is huge and ready, we needed to talk about options.

Option 1: Bed rest, and semiweekly visits to antenatal testing for nonstress tests.
Option 2: We schedule a date to induce.

I am not interested in bed rest, nor into more appointments which stretch longer and longer each time my numbers aren't good. I asked him what he would recommend, and he said induction. That sounded right to me!

So on Thursday at 4:30, Shaun and I are to report to Labor & Delivery to get this show on the road!

Have I mentioned yet how I despise our childbirth classes? We went last night because it included a labor & delivery tour and I wanted to make sure that we both saw everything. However, we were treated to a lovely grilling as to why the Doctor would tell us we need to induce. Are we aware that heat can cause high blood pressure? Do you know that when you're induced, labor is longer and more painful? Listen, lady. I'm going with the advice of the MEDICAL DOCTOR who has seen me and checked me regularly for the past 9 months, and is the head of OB/GYN for the hospital, not the musings of someone who makes up data to encourage all natural births all the time and has only her own experience giving birth to her own children. Everyone is different, and this is what the doctor has determined is safest for me. She is quite vehement about how we need to construct a list of "birth values" so the nurses and doctors know if I don't want any males doing internal exams. (This woman is VERY anti-nurse, anti-doctor and anti-male. I for one have almost always seen male doctors so have no problem with this... but that is always her example of something that women should ask for. Whatever.) Well, it emerges that she will be working tomorrow. Guess what my #1 birth value is going to be? She is not allowed anywhere near me.

So tomorrow afternoon, Shaun and I will head over to labor & delivery, and we'll get to meet our baby sometime before the end of the weekend! It's scary and overwhelming and exciting all at once. Today is my last day of work - I am very grateful to know that it's the last day and be able to wrap things up. It's weird to be here and know that I won't be back for 12 weeks.... but I also know that time will fly.

We get to meet the baby soon!

Home stretch

I'm officially 36 1/2 weeks... which means that in just a few short days I'll be considered full term. We did the non-stress test on Friday, and the baby passed with flying colors. I think she knows when it's a "big day" because she does a lot of moving on the morning of my appointments. At the non-stress test they wrapped my belly with 2 elastic straps with sensors on them, and I just lay there while they monitor the baby's heartbeat and ensure that her heartrate goes up when she moves. She passed with flying colors (and was moving a lot, so we knew she passed way before the test was over). When Dr. Harrison came in, he looked at the printout and said "So you're having contractions." I have been having Braxton-Hicks for quite a while, but he  noticed that these contractions were coming at very regular intervals (every 3 minutes). After a quick internal exam he determined that I'm not dialated at all, so these are just "practice" for the real thing. For a split second when he noted that I was having contractions 3 minutes apart, I had a bit of a panic that the baby was coming.... but fortunately she'll be staying put for a few more days. (This is particularly good because my parents are in Nashville this weekend with Eden, and it being 4th of July weekend means that there are no hotel rooms in Boston at all.... so basically it would be the least convenient weekend for the baby to arrive.)

After the non-stress test we verified that my amniotic fluid is still high, but Dr. Harrison reassured me that the most common cause of excess amniotic fluid is "nothing." So that makes me feel better.

Our big addition yesterday (and perhaps spurred by my call to Shaun that I was having "practice" contractions) was our new car! We planned on getting a car to replace my 2000 Chevy Cavalier Coupe pretty much from the moment we found out about the baby's arrival. After a lot of research on Shaun's part, and the decision that an SUV is not really that practical for city living, we settled on a new 2011 Honda Fit. It's orange, which I love. See below:

(Try not to judge the crooked parking job. It was my first time parking the thing and I'm still getting used to it.)



 We are excited that this car is safe and has enough room for the baby's carseat and other necessities. It's the first new car I've had in 12 years, and the first time I've bought a non-General Motors car. I would like to put forward the disclaimer that if GM was still making the Pontiac Vibe, that would have been my new car. Alas, the only thing in our price range was the Chevy Cruze and I didn't like it.

Anyway, having a baby-friendly vehicle makes me feel more reassured that we'll be ready when she decides to make her appearance!

We started childbirth classes at Boston Medical Center. They are a bit too earthy-crunchy for my taste (I am not interested in knowing that my body will just FEEL what it needs - I would like to know at what point to ask for drugs) but I've come out of each class with at least a little more knowledge, so I suppose it's worth it in general.

The baby continues to grow and move all the time. I went to the movies with my friend Kristy and the baby decided that would be a good time to venture up into my rib cage, making it nearly impossible to find a position in the movie theatre that allowed me to breathe comfortably. I can definitely tell that she's running out of room. But I still love feeling her moving around, and continue to try to predict why she is moving at that point in time. For instance, she did not stop moving while we were speaking to the salesmen at the car dealership... I like to think that she was reassuring me, during a very anxiety-inducing event, that we were making this new financial sacrifice for her and it would be worth it.

We continue to get our home ready for the baby... I'm off to donate some of Daddy's clothes to Goodwill (yes, he willingly gave these up) and pick up some more last minute essentials. I'm sure the drive will be fun!