Tuesday, March 22, 2011

What's in a Name?

Today I'm officially at 22 weeks. The baby is the size of either a spaghetti squash or a papaya, depending on what website you read. I really like spaghetti squash so that's what I'm saying. She is moving like crazy too, which is fun to feel.

I am now being asked daily if we have a name picked. We definitely have some ideas. Some that we really like, in fact, but with about half of the pregnancy to go I don't feel like I'm ready to discuss it with people.

Here's the thing. I'm a namer. I like to name things. I named every one of my Barbie dolls growing up. I name goldfish. I pride myself on being able to come up with names that are clever and have meaning. I'm fascinated by how names change in popularity (games like this on Sporcle.com are among my favorite time wasters). All of this puts a lot of pressure on me with a name for an actual human being.

We are lucky that we have a last name that is pretty user-friendly, name wise. There are lots of names that sound good with it. But that almost makes choosing a name harder.

The older I get, I also run into the problem of knowing an awful lot of people, so names that I may have once loved now have a negative connotation. We also know a lot of people with young kids, so are watching closely to make sure we don't duplicate any of their names. I don't want any names that are on the most popular names list, but I don't want to make something up, either. I am also concerned with names that "match" each other - we are choosing not just a name but a genre of names that future siblings will need to fit into. If we pick a more old-fashioned name, we should really stick with that for the future. You can't have a kid named Jordana and a kid named Mary (neither of those names are on the list, by the way).

I also don't want to decide, tell people, and have them say "really?" So I figure that if Shaun & I keep it to ourselves, we will be getting less commentary from people, and they'll just deal with it when she arrives. But because we are getting asked the question so often, I'm tempted to just tell everyone that we're naming her Maleficent and watch them try not to make the "really?" face.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Mango

Baby is officially the size of a Mango (until tomorrow, when I will receive a new produce-inspired size update)... haven't written this week. Sorry! I can definitely sense that she is there - no "kicking" or anything, I guess kind of like flutters? And fewer and fewer things are fitting properly. The biggest challenge so far has been the acid reflux. I have never had stomach issues before (those are reserved for my sister and most of my best friends) so just getting used to it has been less than fun. And I have been warned that what I'm feeling now is NOTHING like what I'll feel the further along I get.

And that's another interesting side effect of pregnancy - people LOVE to tell me how terrible it's going to be. Random acquaintances offer words of warning of what's to come. Guess what? No matter how bad you tell me it's going to be, I can't change anything. I can't undo it. No actions I take at this point will affect how the rest of the pregnancy goes. So what's the point in acting like a harbinger of doom? I know I've been super fortunate that I haven't been sick and I've been able to keep up working and volunteering at the JFK Library and participating in community theatre without the pregnancy really affecting anything thus far... and I know that none of these things will be as easy in the future. And I totally respect the fact that those who have already been through pregnancy/childbirth want to offer advice... but it really seems that most people (especially those I don't know well) only have negative things to share. What's the point of that? I'm not a worrier by nature, and I can't stay up nights worrying about how I might feel come June.

I miss being able to pick out clothes knowing what size I'll be. I miss having beer with my husband and friends. I miss a glass of wine with dinner. I miss raw oysters and goat cheese. But all of this is temporary. The fact that I will probably be REALLY uncomfortable for a few months isn't something to look forward to, but it's not for the rest of my life either. And I know a lot of people who would do anything to be pregnant and have to jump through all sorts of hoops to come close to how I feel at 19 weeks and 6 days. So for now, I'm just grateful that the little Mango is doing well and that I am doing well too.

(Oh, and please feel free to cite this post in future months when I'm complaining.)